


Earl Grey Martini

by Morethancupcake



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), London Spy
Genre: Alex is a double 0, Alternate Universe, Courtship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Pining James, Q is a Holmes, insecure james, pre 00qad, sadly Danny isn't here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:05:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morethancupcake/pseuds/Morethancupcake
Summary: "It starts out of James' jealousy. Except he doesn't realise it's jealousy at first. It takes Eve, Tanner, and Even M for him to believe it. But he's messing with the chronology here. It starts just like any other games."





	Earl Grey Martini

**Author's Note:**

> Very self-indulgent, I have no excuses except apparently I have a soft spot for pining James, and Q and Alex being close. I'm not even sorry.
> 
> Usual disclaimer : English not my first language. No beta. Typos all mine.
> 
> Title from a cocktail menu, somewhere in Covent Garden.

It starts out of James' jealousy. Except he doesn't realise it's jealousy at first. 

It takes Eve, Tanner, and Even M for him to believe it. 

But he's messing with the chronology here. 

It starts just like any other games. 

 

The small pot of strawberry jam welcomes him when he opens his office door, way too early even for him. 

There's a little note, he discards it quickly, something generic, something he heard before, several times. (He heard it whispered to trophy wives, to targets, to faceless people, but he doesn't make the connection.) 

It's strange, but stranger things happened, here in Q branch. 

 

Two days after, it's a small jar of honey. 

 

"Clover honey." 009 (he's his favourite. Alex is quiet, and nice. His hands are cool, and he's always gentle with him. Q feels at ease with Alex), 009 puts it back on the shelf, and smiles. "I heard you have a secret admirer." 

"Hardly." He smiles, and goes back to coding. Alex waits patiently, playing with Turing. He doesn't usually opens his home to coworkers, especially not Agents, but the mission is rushed, and well. He is his favourite. 

 

In the morning, he finds a cup of tea. Earl grey. It's so perfect he sighs when taking the first sip. 

 

007 is not really the bane of his existence. No, that's a title 003 claimed quite early. But he is... Q isn't sure. Insufferable. Obnoxious. Smug. Irritating. 

"He just likes to pull your pigtails so you're watching only him." 

"That's ridiculous, Eve. You are ridiculous." 

He's mourning the loss of their latest prototype, a beautiful Jaguar he spent hours on, and he's not in the mood to spare Agent Bond, or anyone, really. 

"He never bothered apologising to your predecessor, you know ?" 

Eve scrunches her perfect nose and try to make him smile too. He's too comfortable in his anger to answer. Yet. 

"I don't care if you all accepted to be treated like toys. I didn't.." His voice is shaking. The rage is boiling in him, it reminds him of the fights with his brother, and Mycroft having to soothe him. He hates feeling so much, he hates... 

"Hey. Hey." He doesn't answer so Eve reaches out. "Q. Please, look at me." When he does, she smiles at him. "I'll make him pay, I promise. I'll ask him not to mess with you anymore." 

"Don't be silly." He takes out his glasses, and he notices his hands are shaking."I'm just exhausted, this is nothing." 

 

Infuriating. 

 

007 comes into his workshop and touches, he takes, he moves things over. 

"Quartermaster." he says with a little bow when they pass each other in the corridors, and even M noted the smirk, and the derision. 

 

"Is he being a problem, Q ?" 

"No more than usual, sir." 

 

In the morning, there's another cup of tea, and a warm croissant next to it. Q isn't sure just who is leaving these little offerings. 

Still, it's too good to ignore, and it makes the whole day bearable. 

 

"It's nice." Alex smiles, and takes another bite. They're having dinner, in a small restaurant close to Covent Garden. It's intimate, with candles, and soft music playing, and Q relaxes for the first time in what feels like years. "I don't often go out. It's too... stressing." 

"Yes. Yes, I understand." Q hides his smile in his perfectly cooked pasta, and tries not to remember his last dinner at a restaurant, some informal affair, with Sherlock, Mycroft and their mother. Sherlock had apologised, after. 

"You don't smile often." Alex smiles at him. "You look younger, when you do." 

"I hardly have reasons to smile, at work." 

"It's true." 

 

The walk home is quiet, the smell of rain and crushed leaves strong between them. 

It feels safe, to walk with a friend. He decides. Alex hugs him when they part, and Turing spends a few minutes smelling his friend on Q's coat. 

 

In the morning, there's no tea waiting for him. 

 

"We should go have a drink." 

The silence is deafening. Q doesn't remember screaming that much in years. Again, it was probably because of Sherlock. His big brother always loved to push him, to make him feel, he would say. 

007 isn't smiling anymore, he looks like he's confused. 

"I beg your pardon ?" Q's voice breaks at the end. He doesn't remember just what caused this huge screaming fest between them. His head almost spins. 

"You and me. We should go out. Have a drink. Talk this out. This is ridiculous." 

"And a dreadful idea." 

007 looks like he wants to yell, again, and huffs. "Is it something you only do with 9, then ?" 

"Get out, 7. You're embarrassing yourself." 

He's almost at the door, when he stops. Gone is the straight back, the proud chin. It's not the Agent who stops and huffs again, and moves his hands before speaking. 

"James. My name is James. Can't you at least call me by my bloody name ?" Q is too shocked to answer. This is an amazing turn of event and nothing prepared him to the pain in James' eyes. "Forget it, who am I kidding, you just wouldn't get it." 

 

"James." he tries it, when he's at home, waiting for his tea. Turing lifts his head and looks at him, eyes almost closed. The sound is not familiar in his mouth. 

"James." he whispers, when he's picking a book for the night. 

"James." when he closes his eyes in the dark. 

 

Alex disappears in Kunming. The whole airport is off the grid, and Q tries really hard not to create a diplomatic incident while trying to retrieve him in the middle of the chaos. 

"We're sending someone." Eve is in his ear, trying to calm him down. (He is calm, it's not the problem.) 

(He's terrified.) 

"2 will take him back." 007, no, James' voice next to him, grounding him. "She's the best, Q. She'll get him back, don't worry." 

"You don't understand." He's not sure who he's talking to anymore. 

 

"I should go." 

It's been almost a day, and Alex is still somewhere, lost to them. It could be nothing, but again, it's rarely an accident in their line of work. Q thinks about his beautiful eyes, and his smiles. 

"You hate flying." James sits next to him, on the tiny sofa in his office. his hands are warm, when they rub his shoulders, warming him up. "Irene is the best. She'll get him back to you." 

Q isn't sure just how his face migrated to James' shoulder, and just when he started to cry. He hides his face in his hand, because this is ridiculous, he's not supposed to be weak, he's not supposed to feel so much for an Agent. 

"You don't understand. He's my only friend." 

James makes a little sound, like he's pained, like Q hurt him in a way. 

 

Irene calls them the day after. Alex's voice is a little rough, but he thanks them all before passing out on his seat. 

"Don't worry, Quartermaster." 002, Irene, always flirts with him. She winks and giggles. "I'm bringing him back to you, so you can keep being geeky together." She accepts a drink from an attendant Q can't see on the tiny screen. He doesn't ask about the plane, about the luxurious background. "Is James around, by any chance ?" 

"What do you want, Irene ?" James is close to him, has been since that night, only leaving to bring back food, and a new set of clothes from his own locker, it seems. 

"Just checking." She laughs again. "2, signing off." 

 

James takes him home. He cups Q's elbow, somewhere between the parking exit and Q's door, and Q is too tired to question it. (it feels good. It actually feels good, to rest his worries on someone else's shoulders.) 

Turing isn't too surprised by this fabulous turn of event, but mostly because of the food dispenser Q controlled from his phone. James looks at the cat, who looks right back at him. There's something animal passing between them, and Turing all but adopts him on the spot. 

 

"I'll have you know people find me quite charming, usually." James sounds almost amused by the situation. He pushes him under a warm shower, and has herbal tea ready when Q emerges, hair still wet and wearing pjs Mycroft deemed appropriate for Christmas mornings at their parents'. 

Q watches him silently. He takes everything in. James wearing blue jeans, making him an omelette and playing with his cat. It's too personal, maybe, but it feels right. It feels domestic, in a way Alex didn't. 

"Why are we always fighting, then ?" 

"Because..." James sighs. "Because I'm an arse. Because I can't seem to be able to keep my cool when you're around. Because you're so young, and so brilliant it's infuriating, sometimes." He stops. "What's funny ?" 

"Infuriating. I used that word for you." 

 

The omelette is nice, not the best, but quite impressive considering the appalling state of his fridge. The tea. The tea is perfect. 

Q pretends not to notice, and James pretends not to know what the quick glance is about. 

Turing purrs on his new friend's lap. 

 

Alex is still heavily sedated, and has some difficulties to speak. He hugs Q, and cries a little. 

"I didn't want to miss our date." He jokes behind the tears. 

"I wouldn't allow it." Q sits in his room, and reads to him. 

Irene comes to say hi. James. Other agents, too. 

 

"They love you, you know." M waits for him to get his coat and bag. "The Double-ohs especially. Always fighting to have your attention." 

"I am trying my best, sir." 

"That's not just it, you know. They trust you." M smiles. "For most of them, it's good to have someone here who doesn't see them only as weapons. Even if they don't see us as humans." 

 

Alex ends up in his guest bedroom. James helps them move things around, helps them with the groceries and with the adjustments in Q's bathroom. 

"I used to think he hated me." Alex looks puzzled, but happy. The painkillers are still keeping him a little buzzed, and he's just happy lying down with Turing. 

 

James promise to be back in the morning, to help Alex around the bathroom. He looks almost... normal, here in the tiny entrance, getting his jacket and his scarf. Q wonders if this is the James that was living in a lonely manor, far away. He wonders if it's the James who would walk in the woods with his dog. 

"I have two brothers." he offers. "They work in similar fields, in a way." James wraps in scarf around his throat and nods, probably keeping the information for what it is. A sign of trust. An apology. Maybe more. "I can't tell you my name, mostly because it could endanger them." 

"It's alright." James smiles. "Thank you for telling me." 

"Thank you, James." 

They stay like this, for a moment. Q isn't sure, what's happening. He isn't sure what James is. He's his friend, surely, but not only ? It's strange, it's not a sentiment Q understands. 

"Goodnight, Quartermaster." 

"Goodnight." 

 

In the safety on his room, under the comforter, he whispers. "Goodnight, James." 

 

Eve tells him about the gossip. Q and 007 taking a few days to help 009 recover. "Everyone is quite jealous. It's just difficult to say who they envy more." 

"You're ridiculous, as usual." Q smiles and mix the chicken stew he's making for lunch. The kitchen smells like tomatoes and white wine. "Please don't hesitate to tell me if you need me to be back, I..." 

"Q." She sounds too fond to be really upset. "It's the first time in years you're taking a proper vacation. I don't care if you're playing nurse, I don't care if James follows you around like a mopey Labrador. You're happy. He's happy. I'm sure 009 is happy too, being pampered by you two." 

"I'll tell him you called him mopey." 

"Please. He knows what I'm thinking about his crush." 

The spoon falls inside the pot. 

"His crush ?" 

"Good God, tell me you're not that oblivious." 

 

His first crush (love, had said Sherlock, at the breakfast table, in front of everyone.) was named Arthur. He was taller, with warm brown eyes. It had taken him a while, to realise Arthur was treating him differently. The boys at school were politely cold, they didn't care for him. He was intelligent enough to make himself as bland as possible, not to attract any attention, good or bad. 

Arthur was his friend. Arthur would sit with him under their tree, and they would read in silence. 

It had taken him almost two years to understand his feelings, to get onto his toes and kiss him. 

 

Mycroft had hugged him, and taken him to their dad's office. "He's just being an arse, you know how he is." 

"You said a bad word." Q had felt his chin tremble. 

"Yes, apparently seeing you cry still makes me forget myself." It had made him smile. "Are you feeling better, now ?" 

"Yes." 

"You know Mum and Dad couldn't care less about who you're kissing, right ?" 

"Thank you Mycroft." 

Q was the baby, and it was nice, to know his brothers would protect him, always. 

 

James has the same eyes. His are grey, almost blue, but when he looks at Q, there's the same gentleness. When he touches Q, in passing, Q remembers Arthur's fingers on his shoulders, on his back. 

"You remind me of someone I used to know." he says, and James smiles, a little confused. 

"A friend, I hope." 

"Something like that." 

 

Alex gets better. Enough to walk by himself. Enough to be trusted alone in his own home. 

"Thank you." He hugs Q, and then, timidly, James. "Both of you." 

"Please call me to tell me you made it safely." 

The apartment feels empty, suddenly, and at the same time James seems to be taking all the space, towering over him. 

 

"You're going to miss him." James is still petting Turing, who's halfway in love with him. He's wearing blue jeans, expensive certainly, and a grey sweater today. It's too late for them to pretend he's going to leave, so Q wonders if he'll take Alex's place in the guest room. "I used to be jealous of him." 

"Of Alex ? Why ?" 

"He is your favourite. I could tell. He was invited here. You would take him to restaurants." 

"We had dinner once." 

"No matter how hard I tried, you wouldn't look at me twice." 

"Why ?" This seems to stop the older man. "Why was it so important for me to notice you ?" 

"Because I haven't been able to keep you out of my head." 

 

"We should go to sleep." James tries to grab his arms, and he jumps away. "I was in love, once." James is watching him. "It didn't end well. I am... too lost in my head. I'm good at work, because we need to be clinical, to use facts. I am not good at knowing how I feel." 

"What are you saying, Q ?" 

"That we should sleep. In the morning, we'll go visit the market. It'll be nice." 

 

"I didn't realise it was you." James is out of the bathroom. Q is sitting in his bed, a deep frown on his face. "I thought it was a joke, maybe Eve playing with me. I didn't realise you were leaving me gifts." 

"You weren't supposed to guess right away." 

"We were always fighting. I was yelling so much. What kind of human being does that make me, not knowing how you felt ?" 

"Hey, hey." James sits next to him, and holds his hands in his. "You're overthinking this." 

"Am I ?" 

"Yes, you are. You need to sleep, and then tomorrow, if you want, we'll talk." 

"I don't understand what you want." 

James kisses his forehead once, twice. 

"I don't either, sometimes." 

He guides him under the covers, and kisses him once again. 

"Goodnight, James." 

"Goodnight, Q" 

 

They never make it to the market. 007 is needed right away, and Q follows out of habits. The target is an old fling, someone 007 actually knows and has a chance to spot in the chaos of Hanoi. 

"I'll be home in less than a week. We'll go to the market then." He tries to lighten the mood, but Q doesn't smile, he doesn't joke. "What is wrong ?" 

"Nothing. I'm merely concentrating on your flight plan." 

"You could destroy a country while concentrating on my flight plan. What is it ?" he adds, almost whispering. "Is it about her ?" 

"Are you going to sleep with her ?" 

"Not if I can avoid it. Why ?" He tries to hold, he goes for Q's hand, but this is his domain, and he knows how to escape. "You don't want me to ?" 

"Eve will be there in a minute with the details." 

"Please, Q." 

"It will hurt." Q tries to hold the blue eyes, but they know too much. "It will hurt, even if I have no right to ask anything from you." 

"I can't believe you're doing this right now." 007, no James, holds his face in his hands and kisses him. 

 

"I see you finally talked this out." Eve says when they're leaving for the night. 

 

He's in bed when his phone rings. 

"I need to find you a name. So I don't call you Q when we're at work and I need your attention." 

"Where are you now, James ? What time..." 

"I could call you Hermes. It suits you." 

"You're ridiculously cheesy when you're drunk." 

"Yes I am." James' voice is warm, too warm. It takes the rustling of sheets on the line for Q to realise he's in bed, too. "I should call you Apollo." 

"Please be serious. You would make a fitting Apollo." 

"I would make a passable Hades. If anything, I'm Icarus, when it comes to you." There's a silence. Q wishes he could find it ridiculous. Cheesy. "Why am I so in love with you." It's not a question. 

"I'm sorry." 

 

"I don't want anyone else." James says. "I don't want her, or anyone, really. It's just... easier." 

"It's difficult..." Q sits down, his comforter around him. He feels like a teenager all over again. "I listened to you on missions before. I listened to you seducing people before. It's hard thinking of 007 and to think about the man in my kitchen cooking for me. To reconcile these two people." 

"So that's it ?" It sounds bitter. "Just because you can't handle..." 

"Stop." Q stops him, because he feels the words were just meant to hurt him. 

(Sometimes, Sherlock had said, Sometimes, it's like you don't even feel anything.) 

"It'll hurt, when it happens." 

"If." 

"Alright, if. It'll hurt. Because I'm not sure about what we are, but I know I don't want to share you with anyone." 

The silence in the line makes him uneasy. He's ready to hang up when James breathes out and say, voice soft as silk. 

"That's all I wanted to hear." 

 

So when it happens, it hurts. 

It's not a mission, it's not a target. 

Bond follows the young man in the bathroom. It's quick, it's impossible to miss. The two minions in charge of Bond on the way back dutifully report everything, cold, clinical. 

Blond, young, smily, soft. 

It hurts. 

 

Bond signs his name at the end of the report, he acknowledges everything, everything. 

 

(Sherlock would look at him like that, almost puzzled by his tears.) 

 

He doesn't cry, he doesn't speak to 007. James. 

He knows he was supposed to watch, he was supposed to know. He wants to ask Eve, if it was just a game he lost, if he was just a game, everything is too confusing suddenly. 

"Aren't you going to ask ?" James asks him. He stays away, he asks from the door, hands in his pockets. 

"I don't think there's much to ask." Q smiles, and goes back to coding. 

"I brought you sweets." 

Q doesn't know what to answer. He isn't sure he knows what this is about anymore. 

 

"You're not even going to be mad ? You just don't care, do you ?" 

 

Q doesn't know what is expected of him. So he stays silent.

 

Alex kisses him, and it's another fantastic turn of event, he's too surprised to move, to protest, when he tastes the comfort and the tea on his friend's lips.

Alex studies him with pained eyes, and Q blinks a few times, because he knows they are so alike, he knows the affection Alex is offering isn't love, it isn't the fire in his chest but it's warm and he feels, finally.

Alex kisses him again, and again, and they both know it's all he can offer, but Q takes it anyway.

 

“I am young.” Q doesn't jump, he keeps peeling the apple, and James stays in the shadow. “While you know perfectly how to play, I'm afraid I don't. Not my feelings are involved.”

“So this is over.” He sounds like gravel. 

“I will go on a wild guess, and say you knew it was going to end the moment you decided to go with him.”

“Maybe.” He's closer, handing him another apple. “Did you cry ?”

“In a way, I did.”

There's no victory, in this. The apples turn brown, forgotten in the sink. James traces lines on his faces, and Q keeps his eyes closed, too afraid to ruin the small piece of calm between them.

 

“Do you love him ?” James looks perfectly comfortable under his comforter, a giant cat studying a point on the ceiling. It's not sex, it's infinitely more intimate, to feel the heartbeat close, to hear the cotton move between them, to feel James' feet brushing his. 

If 007 looks at ease in a suit, James smiles at him, his borrowed shirt stretched on his shoulders, at home it seems in the small bedroom.

“Who ?”

“Alex.”

“Not like I love you.”

 

James holds his fingers, trace his knuckles, the smooth cold of his nails. Q is always cold, and he smiles when warm lips brush his skin, blowing softly on his palm.

 

In the morning, when he finally finds the courage to leave the bed, a cup of tea is waiting for him. Earl grey, with a dash of milk, no sugar.

Perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ! Please consider leaving kudos and a kind comment ? It's a cup of warm tea for the soul.
> 
> You can find this story (and me) on Tumblr ! Feel free to message me, it makes my day !
> 
>  http://iwanttopizzamanyou.tumblr.com/post/162521727219/earl-grey-martini
> 
> While I have your attention : please drink a glass of water, your brain will thank me. And stretch your face, while we're at it.


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